i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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