just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
