You really coming over, don't trick.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
