at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
