Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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