dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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