Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
