3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
