dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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