You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize