i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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