another moral hangover. fuck.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
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It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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