I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
