today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
