Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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