You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
