everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
