We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
