Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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