We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
