My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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