Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
