well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize