i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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