Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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