its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
