I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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