on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
