Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I will pee on everything he values.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i believe in u and ur pee
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