I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
