Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
