I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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