Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
