i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize