I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I got inside last night via doggy door
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER