id be glad to
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
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It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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