the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?