yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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