It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
