omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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