It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
