kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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