I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
