we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
As shirtless as possible
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
