3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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