she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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