Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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