Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
