I think scott just propositioned me for sex
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
