I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
