I'm gonna have a badass scar
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
