he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
