some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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