Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
