their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
